I know someone’s waiting
Years of dreams just can’t be wrong!
Arms will open wide.
I’ll be safe and wanted
Fin’lly home where I belong.
Well, starting now, I’m learning fast
On this journey to the past Home, Love, Family.
There was once a time
I must have had them, too.
Home, Love, Family,
I will never be complete
Until I find you…

One step at a time,
One hope, then another,
Who knows where this road may go
Back to who I was,
On to find my future.
Things my heart still needs to know.
Yes, let this be a sign!
Let this road be mine!
Let it lead me to my past
And bring me home…
At last!

Oh yes, at last. There came the day when she woke up from a long slumber, on a soft blanket, in a warm home, around friends, among family.

That look in her eyes when she looked at me, early in the morning, when I first opened the door, just like her, starting a new day of a journey to the future. The better days, the hopeful quests, the many challenges. Prayers unsaid, but kept in the depth in our hearts: that from today forward, there will be joy for us, and many more just like us.

I am down on one knee to touch her balding head. She is still so skinny, dirty, smelly; but she is Carina. The name has sound and meaning made just for her: “dear, beloved”

There is still pain that stings when she moves, there is lingering illness that prevents her to run full force to the second chance in life she finally seized. Parasites that slow her down from her most anticipated recovery.

But when our eyes meet anytime throughout the day, hers will be twinkling. When I call her name and pat her back, she will be smiling. With that dangling leg that she can barely move, Carina walks one step at a time to her water bowl, gingerly approaching full plates of warm food, and returns to the two mothers, three even, who will embrace her with grooming and kisses.

She will bask under the sun, surrounded by kittens running around. She will listen to the wind whispering stories to her ears. And when the spoon tinkles, she will rush out of her slumber, and run. Left behind, the other, but never miss a full plate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Gingerly she will move, when others are sleeping, so she can sit by the dry food container, and choose kibbles of her own liking.

With force and sheer will we try. The best food we can provide, all the medication the vets prescribed, supplements suggested to aid her healing. The most comfortable beds, the cleanest floor, the freshest water, heater at cold night, fan and exhausts through the scorching day, and gentle wipes every now and then. We cannot bathe her still, she is too thin and too weak. She has cold and sinus even during the hottest days. We are fighting endless enemies from worms to fleas, to ear mites, eye infection, gum infection, upper respiratory infection, gastrointestinal problems, severe malnutrition, broken hip, dislocated joints, hypothermia, but with force and sheer will we swing our swords and win, one battle at a time. Slow and painful, but one at a time.

If there is one race we couldn’t win, it’s with time. The time that stole the start, when she lay down on the road, left to die. The time that rushed forward right in front of us, and spray dust and dirt to hinder us from closing in.

Though we gained and gained, last evening Carina sat by our feet.
She looked at us, and snuggled on our toes. She is all the same, yet so very different.

We knew the journey is ending. We knew it then, that winning the war will not be watching her walk again, run again, grow older with her peers.

Her journey is about finding home, finding love, finding family, finding her.

Her war is not about diseases, it’s about beating ignorance with care, and replacing a broken heart with new one made with love, filled with joy, and made that heart beating again with hope.

So we took her and wrap her in her blanket. We sat on the stairs watching the stars. Which one of those, all brilliant, will you choose, Carina. Would it be the one on the left, Aquarius, belongs to Sheilla or that one straight ahead, Scorpio, that is mine? Maybe it should be Orion, so you can lead us the way? Or that little Southern cub on the other side, so you can watch over us?

Carina only smiles. She kept her choice a secret. Mystery is what makes a cat, cat.

Whichever it is, Carina, beloved, you have place in our hearts just like your name. The place where you can sneak in and whisper your messages of grace, of preserverance, of inspiration.

And until we meet again please be good in that golden field: happy, healthy, chubby and clean. Your eyes twinkling, and your meows loud and clear.

We probably wouldn’t know it’s you because you are all perfect, so sit on our feet and snuggle on our toes. That would be our secret code.

Arrivederci Carina, let the brilliant road of stars ahead be yours.

~ Josie

We did not have the means to pay the service rendered when we took Carina to the vets, but we promised we will do what we can to pay our vets as soon as possible. We owe our vets USD 320 for their loving treatment and we would truly be grateful if any of you can help us by giving in Carina’s memory.

Published by

Josie And The Whiskers' Syndicate

The first and only cat refuge in Bandung (West Java - Indonesia) a capital breeder of a nation without animal welfare law. We care for Bandung's unwanted animals, operate a TNR as much as our budget allows, and continue to educate people about compassion to animals

Leave a Reply