There is no greater thanks in my heart than to all of you, who keep us alive this past two weeks. All the admins who works round the clock to keep the whole page (and its extensions) going, all our supporters who keeps coming, commenting, sharing, and especially to all of you who keeps donating, even though I am not posting.
Although I have many valid reasons for my absence, from two outbreaks, cold waves, series of rainstorm that flooded our houses, to my brief encounter with police and court of law (as eye witness and first responder to drunk driving, substance abuse and drug possession traffic accident); there is no greatest apologies that I can offer, than to all of you. For the lack of gratitude despite all your kindness and generosity, for the lack of mention despite all your activity.
When I am sitting here in calm and peace (at last), it is easy to think “What is so difficult? All I need to do is take out my phone, type some words, and be done with it. It won’t take ten minutes!” And yet when there was this little kitten gasping for its last breath after a car ran over it, and the little sibling cried in horror bathed with its sibling’s blood, ten minutes was a blink of an eye. When there were three or four kittens crying over their hurting tummies, while their rear dripping foul, ten hours will not be enough to stop worrying and start typing. When two community garbage keep racing criss cross through the road with their motorcycle, slammed and dragged an innocent, hard working young woman at the cusp of her career, there is not too much of a time to think about cell phone. Her bleeding mouth when I ran to the middle of the street, her frantic arms holding me, her tears and sob asking “Don’t leave me!, please don’t leave me!” She didn’t even remember her own name for the first few hours. She refused the ambulance. She only know one thing: she holds me, and never let me go until her family come to ride with her to the hospital.
It crushed my heart because at home, I know my kitties were the same; and it broke me into pieces knowing that I cannot be at two places in one time.
But all that happened did bring me to one thought: about how I always felt taken hostage by my job, how I resent that people stop coming to the page as soon as I stopped posting. All that happened bring me to the realization, and at last, acceptance, that no matter how great my role, my power, my authorities, especially for The Whiskers’ Syndicate and its cats, there are many more than those that I cannot control. There is not always time for cellphone, but even if it’s only one nano second, there is always time to choose.
Most of all, all that happened only make my appreciation, gratitude, and admiration grow. Your faithfulness, your grace, your understanding, your patience, your undying support, your hard work, efforts.
Knowing so gives me strength, hope, faith. Especially at this time. Every month, in the first two weeks I am wrung to the bone chasing mortgage, loans, credits. Currently as I wrote this post, there is only USD 20 in my bank account after paying for two days of cat food, and USD 350 liabilities due this weekend, or we lost everything. I cannot withdraw from PayPal until the balance reach at least USD 150, or they will charge me USD 30 out of the remaining balance.
There are so little choice, so small chance, so much to do, so little time.
But even if it’s only one nano second, there is always time to choose.
And you, my friends, with all my gratitude entails, give me the power to make this choice.
The choice to go on.
~ Josie T Liem